Shower Power!

This was a piece written for a good friend's magazine, which unfortunately went belly up before the latest issue published, so I thought I'd share it here.

Lather. Rinse. Retreat!

An admitted shower head comes clean

by Joe Landi

Apparently, I do some of my best thinking naked. Or more specifically, in the shower. I realized this the other day when, for the umpteenth time, I just couldn’t remember if I had shampooed my hair or not. Was this short-term memory loss, or the onslaught of dementia? Possibly. But the likely reality was that my mind had simply been freed to wander, deep in thought. Kind of like the way a dozen or more exits can pass on the Parkway and you don’t remember a blessed thing. Yet somehow, managed to drive the vehicle without causing a 50 car pileup. (“Not today Mr.“TV- News Chopper-Cam Guy!”)

So what is it about the shower that inspires such profound and prolific thought? Is it the steady pulse of the hot water (cool if you’re reading this in August) that transports me back to an embryonic fluid-filled, white-tiled womb? (which could use a serious scrubbing, by the way) Maybe it’s the serene sense of sanctuary and solitude that allows the body, and the mind, to truly relax, to drift off, yet be totally in tune to a deep inner-self. I’ve never dabbled in any meditation techniques, or mind-altering drugs, but something tells me they all get you to that “peaceful, easy feeling” Glenn Frey was yammering about.

Some may wonder if it has to be a shower as opposed to a bath. I’m not a bath guy, so I’ll leave that up to you (Bathists). As a kid, the move out of the tub and into the shower (same place) was like a right of passage, and I haven’t looked back. Seeing my mother bathe my younger brothers in the kitchen sink didn’t help either. More recently, a wacky sitcom neighbor described his bathing experience as “sitting in a tepid pool of his own filth.” That seems about right. You’re also on your own when it comes to steamrooms, saunas, hot tubs, jacuzzi’s, and similar relics of the 70’s.

So how is this stress-reducing, awareness-raising, zen-like state achieved? My timeline goes something like this: The first 5 minutes involve getting the obligatory tasks of shampooing, body washing, etc. out of the way. Then, I literally turn my back and let my troubles, cares, and Suave (for Men) suds drizzle down the drain. I’m standing there, eyes closed, elbows at my side, fingertips gently grasping the back of my neck. My mind is pretty much empty. I attribute this not only to what’s going on in the shower (not much at this point), but also what isn’t.

This cocoon of consciousness is completely cut off from the clutter and chaos of the outside world. No kids, no spouses, no neighbors, no clients, no computers, no TV, no email, no deadlines, no phones, no i-pods, no bills, no house repairs, no leaf blowers, no lawn mowers, no cars making funny/costly sounds, no pets, no debts, no nothing. Just you and your naked self.

That’s when things really start to flow. It usually starts soft and slow. Maybe the bud of an old idea long buried in the backyard of your brain springs to mind. Or maybe something new in your life proudly makes itself known. Sometimes ideas are practical, like finally finding the perfect way to celebrate your parents golden wedding anniversary that in no way involves semi-frozen shrimp, or ziti in aluminum pans perched over flaming Sterno cans.

Other thinking can be more personal. The words to a new song you never knew you had in you, suddenly emerge. And you’re not even a songwriter, at least you hadn’t been. Or it could be an idea for a short story, a play, or novel (or magazine article) that starts writing itself, right there. You’re just adding water to a warm, fertile environment and letting your ideas sprout and flourish. Like a greenhouse for your grey matter.

Try not to guide or steer the process. The thing to do is just let it come. With so many ideas swirling about, you’ll want to collect every one. Short of a waterproof whiteboard, this may not be practical or necessary or even desirable. I’ve gotten up to write down middle of the night flashes of brilliance, only to find them rather pale in the light of day. Any truly inspired ideas will wait till you towel off. And ideas that you miss may reappear or be replaced by new and better ones the following day.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: 100% chance of a shower. Enjoy!

*In the interest of the environment, I should state here that I am conscious of excess water usage. It can be hard to turn those knobs and tear away from the “hot towel out of the dryer” feeling a shower wraps you in. What can feel like an hours-long indulgence, should actually take no longer than 10 to 15 minutes. I relieve some guilt by recycling, scooping my dog’s business, or passing on that plastic bag for my next purchase of Suave (for Men) / Tilex / Irish Spring.